The Funniest Lies People Told kids

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Motide
Jul 4, 2017 11:00 AM EDT

*And survived to tell about it

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  • 01
    Text - smarii 7h One time I was eating m&ms and my 3 year old nephew asked what was it, so I told him it was candy and when he asked for some I joked that it was vegetable flavored. The green m&ms were made out of lettuce, the red ones out of tomatoes, etc. He didn't eat m&ms for the longest time and it was hard to convice him I was kidding because he started to believe we were tricking him into eating more vegetables.
    via Galebrithien
  • 02
    Text - craftyqueer 6h When we were in the car and it was raining, my mom would wait for a bridge or tunnel and as we approached it she would tell us she was going to make the rain stop in 3..2..1. She told us she could only make the rain stop for a minute because it made her so tired. My siblings and I were convinced she was magic
    via Galebrithien
  • 03
    Text - MeanForNoReason 6h Me: "How old are you, now?" Kid: "Six." Me: "Wow! When I was your age I was only nine." It's great to see the very puzzled look on their faces.
    via Galebrithien
  • 04
    Text - Neurobug 6h My wife's parents convinced her that horses were cows and cows were horses. Everytime they'd pass by driving, they used the wrong one. She argued with her kindergarten teacher furiously that her parents taught her well, and that the teacher was wrong. Took a concerned teacher call to my in-laws and some ice cream to change her mind.
    via Galebrithien
  • 05
    Text - 12481624 6h my sister told me that yellow leaves tasted like bananas and brown tasted like chocolate. I apparently went and ate leaves, but came back and told her they don't taste how she said they would. She told me I must have eaten a bad batch... so I continued to try find and eat these tasty leaves
    via Galebrithien
  • 06
    Text - steezyvape 3h I once convinced my little brother that the big toe is the vital organ and if you stub it hard enough, you could die. Like two weeks he wore shoes inside until my mom yelled at him to take his shoes off and he had a minor anxiety attack. I laughed so hard.
    via Galebrithien
  • 07
    Text - goatguyzer 8h My friends parents told her that moose weren't real growing up. Like, unicorns, and moose were both fictional creatures. When she got to high school someone was talking about seeing a moose and she thought they were trying to be funny and basically she found out at 16 that moose are, in fact, real. When she went home to tell her parents her mom was in tears of laughter. So yeah. Probably telling your kid growing up that a very existent animal is a fictional creature
    via Galebrithien
  • 08
    Text - I forget how it started, but my husband [boyfriend at the time] was trying to convince his 4 year-old brother that his feet were going to fall off. The lie got more and more elaborate-like explaining how he'd have to learn how to walk around on his ankles until his adult feet came in, etc. He was skeptical, even when I agreed that it was true, that everyone loses their baby feet before their adult feet grew in At the time their house was being upgraded from dial up internet to DSL, and th
    via Galebrithien
  • 09
    Text - NeroJoe 1h That, as their father, I could change their names whenever I wanted to. One time I pretended to get on the phone with the "Arizona Name Registry", and renamed my two kids Snargle and Gorf because they kept misbehaving. They were bawling. I could barely keep a straight face.
    via Galebrithien
  • 10
    Text - nevaehfosnoom 3h My friend is a little person. One time when we were out a little girl asked her why she was so short. She told the girl that her shoes ate her feet and the bottoms of her legs and we kept walking. I looked back to see the little girl frozen in fear looking at her feet
    via Galebrithien
  • 11
    Text - alien4hire 1h As a child, my parents told me if I did something bad I was going to "baby jail". I believed in baby jail until I was like 12 years old. If I started crying in a public place my dad would say "Mary, stop that. You don't want to go to baby jail, do you?" And then I would just scream louder like "| don't want to go to baby jail!" I was kind of a well behaved kid until I realized baby jail wasn't real. Then I turned into a teenager and they told me that Juvenile Detention was a
    via Galebrithien
  • 12
    Text - SeahorseScorpio 3h When I was a kid my dad used to tell me he was turning the car indicator off and he was just so fast I couldn't see him do it. I'd spend every car ride staring at the indicator arm to catch him. It went on for months until he finally explained it turns off automatically after you turn. I was furious for days. He of course, thought it was hilarious!
    via Galebrithien
  • 13
    Text - yondus 5h I convinced my younger brother and my two nieces that I "invented" the moon I lived away for ten years and I told them that I had been living there on the moon in order to keep it working. They're older now but they still remind me of this every so often, and tell me how they convinced some of their friends of the same thing.
    via Galebrithien
  • 14
    Text - RadleyCunningham 5h I once told this long story, completely straight-faced, to my cousin that I can't eat chocolate because allergies- even the tiniest piece would kill me. I said this, looking into his eyes, and eating chocolate. He went to leave the room, and he disappeared behind the wall and I heard "WAIT A MINUT!" I never laughed so hard in my life.
    via Galebrithien

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